Get past the goose!
Avoiding THAT awkward conversation with a team member? You’re not alone, but it’s time to stop sidestepping
There’s a path I take to the train station regularly. It’s the quickest route, saves me five minutes, and means I can make my train without a mad dash.
But there’s one problem.
A goose.
Geese make my insides jolt, my heart race, and I break into a panic sweat like I’ve just been challenged to a duel. They flap, hiss, and act like I’ve got no business being on the path.
Now, here’s the choice I face:
🚶 Go past the goose and risk a full-blown stand-off ( I fear the goose will throw me in the canal)
🔁 Walk the long way round and avoid it entirely, but risk missing my train (and my prepaid appointment, goodbye £50)
Or…
⏰ Wake up earlier and build in avoidance time, just so I don’t have to deal with the goose (this obviously the best thing to do right!?)
And every time I do that, I think: this is exactly what giving difficult or constructive feedback can feel like…
Hey, I’m Louise 👋 I’ve spent over a decade in senior leadership, going from apprentice to running operations in multi-million-pound companies. Now, I share everything I’ve learned to help managers like you lead with confidence.
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We all have “the goose”
That one conversation you’re not having with a team member. Maybe they’re brilliant at what they do, but come across as defensive or dismissive. Maybe they clash with others, or keep missing deadlines, but somehow, still hit their KPIs. Or maybe they’re just not pulling their weight, and everyone else can see it.
And instead of tackling it head-on, you…
❌ Hold back
❌ Avoid the conversation
❌ Change your own behaviour just to keep the peace
❌ Hope the problem will just go away
❌ Pray someone else will deal with it
You find yourself planning your day, your meeting, or even your mood around not confronting the goose.
And just like me walking the long way round to dodge one angry bird, it’s costing you time, energy, and progress by not having that conversation.
But what’s the real cost?
“You might think, 'It’s fine, I can manage around it.' Deep down, you know it’s not the solution. But you try to convince yourself anyway. You’re busy, I get it, and it’s one more problem you just don’t have the energy or time for.
But…
Other team members see you avoiding it and lose trust in you, because you’re not doing anything about it.
The behaviour festers, affecting morale and performance. Your best team members get fed up and start to look for other jobs.
You start carrying the emotional weight for someone else's impact. You become exhausted.
All because giving honest feedback feels too risky, uncomfortable, or just not worth it today.
I’m not saying you should charge at the goose
I’m not about dramatic confrontation or forced conflict. But I am saying this:
You need to stop structuring your leadership around the conversation you’re avoiding.
Whether it’s a tricky team member, awkward feedback, or repeated low-level behaviour that “isn’t quite bad enough to say something”… it all adds up.
What would change if you stopped walking the long way round?
🧭 What could your team achieve if everyone was working with each other, not tiptoeing around tension?
💬 How much lighter would you feel if you weren’t carrying frustration, resentment, or confusion?
⏱ What would you do with the extra energy if you weren’t constantly firefighting low-level issues?
I’ll leave you with this
There’s always going to be a goose on the path (even though we all wish there wasn’t!)
You can avoid it, rework your route, and keep telling yourself it’s just easier this way.
But eventually, you miss your train🚂
And the cost? It’s a team that stays stuck. You become a manager who feels constantly behind. And the team has an illusion of harmony that cracks the moment pressure hits.
And perhaps most importantly, it’s a missed opportunity to help someone grow, for their sake, and for the sake of the team.
Avoiding the conversation might keep things calm on the surface, but it’s not calm you’re after. It’s progress.
But how?
If this hits close to home, you’re not the only one. It’s something we dived into during the latest Management Masterclass where we went through examples of exactly how to handle this (again, thanks to those who came along to this).
And if you’re thinking, “Right, but how do I actually give that kind of feedback?” good news. I’ll be diving into this in more detail soon and sharing practical resources to help you do exactly that.
It’s something I’m developing right now, so stay tuned.
In the meantime, as always, thanks for reading.
Louise